naked & not afraid in vanuatu

“I blacked out at the bar & wake up at 4am, 700m away from the hotel, wearing nothing but my undies..”

behind the scenes 

Day 0 

Flew to Brisbane after having my plane delayed for 6 hours. Had a few drinks with the boys at the Meriton suite and went out to watch Kingswood play a gig. Got a little too drunk and fell asleep on the couch in the club. They wrote where I was staying on my arm just in case I got lost. The boys carried me back to the hotel. 

Day 1

Woke up to Ben and Michael showing me photos and videos of me the night before. Boarded the cruise nice and early where I met with Dylan who we were sharing a room with. Got to our room 10212, couldn’t believe how nice the view was from the balcony. After chucking our bags away we started checking the ship out, mostly just looking for where all the 21 bars were.

Had a massive first night with Dylan and myself not going to sleep. We didn’t want to waste any time by going to sleep but eventually had to have a 1 hr nap on the day beds, right at the front of the ship at the solarium at 8am.

Day 2

With only a 1-hour nap we had the option to go to bed or push through the pain and not waste the day. Drinking at a few bars but mostly at the sky bar we drank all day, tried every cocktail on the menu. The boys went to the theatre while I tried my luck at the casino. Got up a few hundred US$. Finished the night at the music hall which turns into a night club most nights but closes at around 2.30am. With little to no sleep I crashed at around midnight.  

Day 3

Got up early and went to the gym, ran 5kms and did some weights. Had breakfast in the windjammer. On day 2, I found out what room number Ben and Michael were in, so I could try my best to make sure they didn’t waste the days & so I could get them up early every day. Unfortunately they were the biggest day wasters on the cruise.

I went and woke up Ben. Michael was dead, so we left him. Ben and I went to an art auction were we both were interested in buying something. We were drinking mimosas. I ended up buying a painting from the main artist that day which was a mystery buy, got it for about 400 US$. 

Headed up to the sky bar for most of the day. I was sitting there by myself when this chick comes up to the bar, but with the bar full and no room to sit, I got off my seat to let her in. I immediately thought, “I had to get this girls number!” I chatted to her for a little bit, I thought we had some good chemistry, and regretted when she walked off without exchanging numbers. But also thought, it is only early days and had plenty of time on the cruise to work my magic.

Day 4 

With only about 2 hours sleep I had to get up and get some tickets for the tender boats, so we could get off the boat to Vanuatu with the boys. We got off the boat nice and early. We found a taxi driver who took us to a shopping centre where we were meeting the guys picking us up for the full day fishing charter. We bought 80 local beers for the trip, they were delicious.

The drive took about 1 hour to the boat. Spent the day drinking and fishing. I caught the first yellow fin tuna with Fletcher catching the next one coming in at 30kg. All up we caught 4 yellow fin tunas and ate one raw which they call sashimi.

I booked a hotel for the night which was right on the water. Had dinner with everyone then went bar hopping. Everyone else went back on the boat & I paid a taxi driver to drive me around to every night club and pub but they were all dead.

Ended up coming back to a hotel next door to where I was staying. I sat at the bar and drank shot after shot, eventually blacking out and waking up at 4am, 700m from my hotel. Woke up on a bean bag next to a pool with only my undies on in someone’s private property. Luckily I had my watch on & I used “find my phone” to find it with my wallet next to it. Jumped the fence and started looking for someone to help me. Lucky I remembered the name of where I was staying and finally got pointed in the right direction. But couldn’t believe how far I stumbled away from my hotel. As I walked about 100m back in the direction of my hotel wearing nothing but my undies, someone was yelling out at me. He ran over saying “I have your shorts here mate”. I put them on and kept walking about another 200m before someone else was yelling out at me saying “I have your shirt”, so put that on too. By the time I got back to my hotel they had found my hat that I’d left on the bar, and I had all my clothes back.

Day 5

After about 3 hours sleep, the boys came and we paid for a taxi driver for the day. Went to the waterfalls first which was one of the nicest spots I have seen. Jumped off the ledges into the water right next to the waterfall and had a couple of goes at the rope swing. Went to the blue lagoon next where we swam and jumped off this massive rope swing. Got a ride back to town and went duty free shopping. Ben and Michael decided to stop being day wasters and come ashore. We had a few beers while swimming just off the jetty, doing flips into the water. Eventually heading back to the ship. Got dressed up & went to dinner. Had another big night with the boys, hit most of the bars up till the early hours.

Day 6 – (BLANK)

Fuck knows?? A couple of days bendering, blended into each other I reckon..

Day 7 – Australia Day

Woke up with a dirty hangover, walked out to the balcony realising we were at Noumea. It was Australia day so gathered all the boys together so we could get on the piss. Ben, Michael, Callum, Matheus, Fletcher and Dylan. We got the first bus to near town and had to pay for another bus that would get all of us to Lemon Bay. We tried a few of the bars but after buying a couple of cocktails we realised they were ripping us off. Went for a swim a few times. We found one bar that wasn’t too bad, and they sold us 2 litre jugs.

Day 8

Woke up after a couple hours of sleep, got Dylan out of bed. Ben, Dylan and I went to the Gijarranar restaurant where we had something to eat. Got freshly squeezed orange juice that we took up the sky bar to have some mimosas. All the boys eventually came up and we just lay down on the day beds getting some sun while listening to music through our speakers. Eventually all the girls came up to the sky bar for a drink & after a few hours we headed over to watch some of our mates do the rock climb.

We organised dinner at Jamie Oliver’s with the girls. Before dinner Ben and I dressed up like James Bond and played laser tag, because we had purple suite class cards we could push our way into any line. Unfortunately I lost against Ben’s team, I still think they cheated! 

Had an awesome dinner at Jamie Oliver’s and the food was absolutely delicious. Went out to the club and had a good night dancing.

Day 9

Got woken up by Benny at 11am calling us day wasters after a big night. Dylan and Munro stayed in bed but Ben and I went out to the surf wake. After both of us had a go we decided it was time to get back on the beers. Went back to the rooms and got dressed. Went straight up to the sky bar and ordered a vodka soda. The boys eventually slowly made their way up to the bar. Stayed at skybar playing our music and running a muck till dinner. Had dinner at the steak house with Matheus, was bloody delicious.

This is the last night on the cruise so we knew we were going to send it. From the start, every night on the cruise it got better and better because everyone got to know each other. I was dancing most of the night and after the music finished I went up to the spa with old love hooking up on the top deck for a few hours.

Day 10

After a very big last night on the boat, Dylan and I woke up very sore. Was supposed to be off the boat by 9am but only got out of bed by 9.30am. Caught up with Ben and Michael and packed all our shit together. Slowly made our way off the boat.
Munro headed to the airport while Ben, Dylan and I stayed back at the Meriton suite. We all had a big nap and settled down a little. Time to recover & back to reality. What a trip!!